Well, we all know Dana White takes shit personally, and won’t easily back down from a war. White’s least likely to back down from a fight with ESPN, who’s been on White’s radar for sometime now because of slanders against his ever-growing empire. The most recent low blow by ESPN is the “UFC Fighter Pay Expose,” which headlined last week on the award-winning investigative series Outside the Lines. The interview with UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta was about fighter pay issues and was drastically edited to under 10 minutes without any hard facts, salary figures, or even a fighter name to back up the story. We could conclude the whole thing was a major fail, and was far from being as “tight as a nuns asshole.” The 20 odd UFC fighters who aren’t cashing in still remains a mystery, until now…

Yes, the shocking missing footage is here, courtesy of illustration artist Bryan G. Brown (@bryangbrown) of Monsters of MMA. It’s ESPN’s one and only Josh Gross interviewing UFC fighter “John Doe,” who you can clearly see lacks nutrition, strength, and is desperate for a salary increase.

Now, can we all say that this ESPN story has no weight?

Be sure to check back in the following weeks for another edition of Monsters of MMA.

ESPN: JOSH GROSS INTERVIEWS STARVING UFC FIGHTER - © COPYRIGHT, BRYAN G. BROWN

Why? Well, let’s just say since the day Gina Carano lost to Cris Cyborg, the women’s 145-pound weight division in STRIKEFORCE is just not the same. The division in its current state simply lacks of talent, and of quality female fighters who could even stand a chance to go past one round against the muscly augmented “Cyborg.” We could also say the division was Cris Cyborg, as Ben Fowlkes stated in his article. Without “Cyborg,” the division is in jeopardy of no longer existing. The women’s bantamweight is where it’s at right now, because it’s hot, exciting to watch, and shit is about to hit the fan. “Cyborg’s” last fight with Hiroko Yamanaka lasted less than 16 seconds in a fist-pummelling defeat, thanks to her superhuman strength. Beyond all her power, Cris Cyborg is extremely aggressive compared to other female fighters and would scare the daylights out of any average man. It would take another honest and fearless fighter like Gina Carano to face her again, even without any drug enhancers. So, could this situation be a good thing for women’s MMA in STRIKEFORCE?

Former judo Olympic medalist Ronda Rousey is the next female fighter in the 145-pound division who actually could dethrone “Cyborg,” but has focused her fighting attentions on the beautiful Miesha Tate, who is currently the STRIKEFORCE women’s bantamweigth champion. After numerous call-outs on Miesha Tate across interviews and on Twitter, Rousey expressed her desire to challenge Tate. Well, Rousey was heard, and even if Sarah Kaufman was next in line to fight the champion Rousey will finally face Miesha Tate on March 3, 2012. It is the most anticipated fight in women’s MMA since Carano vs. Cyborg. Can we just speed up time so we can watch the fight sooner than later?

For the moment, Cris Cyborg is joining the dog pile of unprofessional losers who have failed a drug test in the MMA such as Chael Sonnen, Tim Silvia, Chris Leben, and Thiago Silva, just to name a few. The penalty she’s currently facing is a one year suspension with a fine of $2,500.

In the meantime, “Cyborg” will be on the sideline targeting upcoming female MMA stars, and we will just have to wait and see what the future holds for her and the women’s 145-pound division.

Monsters of MMA: Miesha Tate, Cris Cyborg, and Ronda Rousey - © COPYRIGHT, BRYAN G. BROWN

No pity here for any fanboy who argues with us, and we hope you find a cozy little hole in the ground where you can vanish for a lifetime. The simple fact is that Jon Jones demolished three of the best light heavyweight fighters in the world. Also note that these three former champions were vanquished within a six month period, which makes Jones’ achievement more than remarkable; it’s unmatched, and he also did it in the most dominate fashion. I once thought Anderson Silva was the Michael Jordan of the UFC, but now I question that every time I sit back and watch in joy a Jon Jones fight. It’s true that Anderson Silva and Georges St-Pierre have defended their title longer, but in comparison to Jones, they have not faced as many high-caliber fighters in a single calender year. For example, to make this statement legit, if GSP annihilated Matt Hughes, B.J. Penn, and Matt Serra in the same year. We could then arguably say he ranks in above Jones in terms of greatness.

To no surprise now, including Dana White who had to reevaluate his opinion of Jones after he defeated Vladimir Matyushenko, and Ryan Bader in his baby steps inside the Octagon. But right now, I can only say, these are some of the reasons why all the hype is around Jon Jones as being the great one in the MMA community. Now we just need to step back, give the man a break, and all the credit we could throw at him for his fine accomplishment this year.

On a personal note, Bryan (@BryanGBrown) and Yell! Magazine have decided to keep the casket open in the Monsters of MMA illustration above, since it’s still uncertain who Jones will fight next. It could be Dan Henderson, but we only hope it’s a casket for Rashad Evans, and even that wish won’t be certain unless he runs through Phil Davis at UFC on FOX 2.

Monsters of MMA: Jon "Bones" Jones - © COPYRIGHT, BRYAN G. BROWN

At first, it may have seemed like a story straight out of the 1984 cult film, The Toxic Avenger. A stereotypical 98-pound weakling that transforms into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength wins over the love of a typical dumb blonde and blind girl. But in the real world, Arianny Celeste isn’t blonde nor blind, and Chael Sonnen quickly learned that the hard way on Twitter. To little, or no surprise, Sonnen tried to keep his love flowing with another low blow. Overall, the beef actually didn’t last long at all, only enough to steer some pointless news, and left Arianny a little insulted at first, but later claimed it was flattering coming from the most intelligent fighter in MMA.

Now you got to ask yourself one quick question, if you know this guy already. Was this really a pointless attempt by Chael Sonnen? The truth to the answer is, not at all. Why? Because the self-marketing genius has everyone talking about him again, including us, and it didn’t even involve UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva this time around. That’s the magic of Sonnen, and one of the reasons why he is so successful in the business.

Once Chael Sonnen runs through Mark Muñoz at UFC on FOX 2 on January 28, 2012, we honestly can’t wait to hear what he has to say next at the post-fight presser. We can only imagine that it will be funny, or controversial. In the meantime, enjoy this newest Monsters of MMA collaboration with comic book artist Bryan G. Brown.

Be sure to check back on December 21, 2011, for our next edition of Monsters of MMA.

The Chael Sonnen Bonus Video

Monsters Of MMA: Arianny Celeste, Chael Sonnen, Anderson Silva - © COPYRIGHT, BRYAN G. BROWN

But fear not, one of our goals in this Monsters of MMA venture is to bring you some insight into the things happening around the MMA community. We’re aiming to cover more than just the BIG PICTURE news, if you know what I mean. That’s cookie-cutter kid stuff and we’re more grown up than that, that’s why we like pictures with our news. There are tons of other MMA news sites out there that give you plain-Jane journalism (you know that a cereal box offers more climax’ and cliff-hangers), but our focus here at Yell! Magazine is to report the MMA news in the most interesting and entertaining way, and that’s the monster way. With that, we welcome you to the Monster of MMA.

Here’s our first instalment (don’t worry, if you can’t read because you’re a victim of No Child Left Behind, just enjoy the picture):

The Urijah Faber “No Shirt Nation” Deal

Team Alpha Male leader, Urijah “The California Kid” Faber, who I always pictured to roll in on skates or a skateboard to the Octagon, started a hashtag trend on Twitter called “No Shirt Nation” (picture the shirtless werewolves in Twilight… Jesus Christ!) a while back. Montreal-born MMA journalist, Ariel Helwani, who has interviewed Faber numerous times over his career, questioned and taunted him on the topic. Helwani stated that Faber and his team are chokers, and aren’t fully behind the trend. Faber responded that it’s a mentality thing, and that Ariel needed to be apart of it. To be the first “No Shirt Nation” role model for hot female journalist like Megan Olivi (Heavy) and Molly Qerim (ESPN, VERSUS).

As sure as Greece’s struggling economy or the fact that the recent vomit-inducing American Music Awards was an extended and collaborative commercial (we would have tapped out, but it was like a train wreck), the teasing backfired on Ariel as Faber returned the taunt in a shirtless interview. C’mon now Ariel, don’t let this bantamweight bully turn you into a lily-livered coward. Since this dispute is still going on between the two, we need to see the score settled once and for all. Don’t you think?

The Monsters of MMA comic above is our first salute to Faber, and also Ariel for never letting that humour go, and we still get a kick out of it every time we hear it. Although we don’t really think it would go down the way Faber is hoping, it’s in his head. Bryan (Monsters of MMA), on the other hand, has it down more realistically.

Be sure to check back in the following weeks, as we roll out more Monsters of MMA.

No Shirt Nation: Urijah-Faber, Ariel-Halweni, Megan Olivi, and Molly Qerim - © Copyright, Bryan G. Brown