{"id":66744,"date":"2019-09-05T13:55:45","date_gmt":"2019-09-05T17:55:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/?p=66744"},"modified":"2019-09-04T23:58:51","modified_gmt":"2019-09-05T03:58:51","slug":"colony-2013-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/2019\/09\/05\/colony-2013-review\/","title":{"rendered":"The Colony (2013) &#8211; Stay Frosty"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Watching <em>The Colony<\/em> is like watching a full buffet commence on the Donner Pass. The movie is set in the not-too-distant future and not a whole lot is revealed other than we fucked around with weather machines and created a god damned ice age. Dwindling supplies, no meds, and more than 90% of the population dead makes for a real shitty way of life.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/the-colony-paxton.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-0\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img src=\"http:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/the-colony-paxton-642x428.jpg\" alt=\"the colony paxton\" class=\"alignnone\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>In the film, there are underground settlements all around the world and if you get the sniffles, you wind up in quarantine. You get sick and don&#8217;t get better on your own, then you have a choice&#8230; bullet to head or walk into the snow. Gee Willickers, Batman, that&#8217;s mighty cold!<\/p>\n<p>The film is slow to get started, but the virgin&#8217;s legs begin to spread when one settlement, led by Briggs (Lawrence Fishburne), receives a mayday from another, nearby settlement. A small group of three, including Briggs, set out into the chilly wasteland to see what the hell has happened.<\/p>\n<p>Shit, meet fan.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ZENI7UC3WQo\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>After a message about sun and nutrient-rich soil being found under the thick permafrost, hope is restored. The group sent to investigate gets all-but wiped out and on their retreat, lead a gang of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/eli-roths-green-inferno-check-cannibals-pics\/63645\/\" title=\"Eli Roth\u2019s The Green Inferno \u2013 Check Out The Cannibal [PICS]\">cannibals<\/a> to their home.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/the-colony-fishburne.jpg\" data-rel=\"lightbox-image-1\" data-rl_title=\"\" data-rl_caption=\"\" title=\"\"><img src=\"http:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/the-colony-fishburne-642x428.jpg\" alt=\"the colony fishburne\" class=\"alignnone\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Our happy little group finds itself knee-deep in sawed off arms, legs, and ugly motherfuckers with teeth filed to points. Better to eat you with, my dearies, as it were. Death awaits at every corner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Watching The Colony is like watching a full buffet commence on the Donner Pass. The movie is set in the not-too-distant future and not&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":66754,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[26],"tags":[1503,3539,213,3538],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66744"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/31"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=66744"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66744\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124902,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66744\/revisions\/124902"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/66754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=66744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=66744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellmagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=66744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}