5 Reasons You May Be A Closet Con-Goer

2012 Montreal ComicCon

While we’re all still coasting off the good vibes of last weekend’s Montreal ComicCon, meeting up with all the freaks and geeks at the event spurred an idea in our heads that might be lurking within your own depraved headbones this very minute. It’s a question lobbed at any poor soul who knows not the magic of a comic convention, though just the thought of it makes him or her feel like a guilt-ridden sinner.

You see, you, the reader, may very well be an unknowing, closet-con-goer. One who’s always been curious, but too sheepish to take the leap of faith. If that is the case, then don’t feel ashamed, dear reader. It’s all perfectly and utterly normal – at least, as normal as anyone with connections to Yell! Magazine could muster.

But how do you know whether or not you’re a prospective uber geek or just a regular comic guy? Well, we’ve managed to summarize the five main symptoms below, so read on, mein freund, and see if you too have been bitten by the convention bug.

Here are the 5 reasons you may be a closet con-goer:

No.5You’re the only one of your friends with a thing for geekdom

So, maybe you’ve got a secret stash of seemingly harmless comic books stowed away in your closet. Maybe you secretly wish that you could have the power to say… shoot electricity out of your mouth. Perhaps, it’s the case that, underneath that poster of Sarah Grey that you pridefully show to your guests, is actually a shameless image of Aquaman, surrounded by his undersea buddies.

No need to hide your natural inclinations, my good man. It’s not easy to harbor a secret love for sequential images when all your friends wanna do is hit the clubs. Where and when can you find solace? How can you find an escape, or meet up in person with like-minded individuals who share the same proclivities?

At a comic convention, of course. If the description above fits your profile, then feel free to cast your angst to the wind, and if you feel so inclined, your pants, as well. You need not worry about putting on a mask at a ComicCon, unless, of course, it happens to be some kind of Iron Man helmet or something.

No.4You love merchandise, but can’t find any for the life of you

So, maybe you’ve come to terms with your inner geek, and your friends are good and fine with that. Still, there is a hole in your heart that swells every time you consider how hard it is to find super hero related merchandise these days. Yeah, sure, the local Toys “R” Us may have a new shipment of Green Lantern action figures on sale, but it’s just… it’s just not enough.

So you take to eBay, or an online vendor, and the idea of buying off some strange, unshaven man online happens to give you the creeps. You have to fork out the cash for shipping and handling and wait a good couple of weeks – assuming, that is, that online vendor “WaffleHouse69” isn’t totally scamming you three ways from Sunday. At the end of the day, it’s indirect, drawn out, and just plain inefficient.

But lo and behold, my good man, for at Comic-Con, the unshaven vendors are just within arm’s reach! There will be no scamming going on, and the amount of merch to buy is literally overwhelming. Make your way to the steampunk booth and pick up a brass-covered gauntlet to wear to the local ice cream social. Or, if steam isn’t your thing, grab a pair of cyberpunk goggles and strap ’em to your head at the nearest rave. Hell, you could even find a secondhand pair of Hulk Hands from the vendor at the front, and use ’em to go to town on the first kindergarten class you can find. The possibilities are endless, and they’re limited only to your imagination and cash flow.