Horror does Christmas. Horror does summer camp. Horror does April Fools. Horror does Valentine’s Day. Heck, horror even does Saint Patrick’s Day. But does horror do Thanksgiving? You bet it does! Does it do it well? Not so much.
The choices for Thanksgiving-based horror movies is a pretty thin spread, and their quality is often on par with boxed stuffing. Thing is, you’ll probably still eat that stuffing, just like you’ll probably watch these movies on turkey day when you couldn’t care less about football.
Now, while everyone else is rocked back in a digestive coma, watching football, or drinking yet another glass of wine, we suggest that you find one or more of these movies online and find yourself a quiet corner to feast your eyes on some Thanksgiving-inspired blood and guts.
Here is Yell! Magazine’s list of five Thanksgiving-baste Horror Movies:
No.5 Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
OK, perhaps we’re cheating like a pilgrim here, but this Troma classic does feature fowl (the title says so) and an ancient Indian burial ground. What more could you want?
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead Synopsis:
When the American Chicken Bunker, a military-themed fried-chicken chain, builds a restaurant on the site of an ancient Indian burial ground, local protesters aren’t the only ones crying fowl! The previous tenants, fueled by a supernatural force, take “possession” of the food and those who eat it, and the survivors discover that they must band together before they themselves become the other white meat! Film lovers have been starved for sustenance. The relentless diet of predictability and pretense Hollywood has been serving up just doesn’t cut it. Poultrygeist is hearty food for thought. In Poultrygeist, Troma takes on the the fast-food industry — skewering the soulless restaurateurs-in the world’s first horror — comedy film to feature zombie chickens, American Indians, and a bit of singing and dancing! It’s Poultrygeist!
No.4 Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County
This is probably one of the first found-footage films, pre-dating The Blair Witch Project by a single year. Although you can watch the whole thing on YouTube (in parts), it’s surprisingly pretty well made. Dean Alioto (Lizzie Borden Had an Axe, L.A. Dicks) wrote and directed the film, and maybe he was making a stretch by trying to apply the alien invasion metaphor to the pilgrims abducting North America. Or is that just me?
Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County Synopsis:
After a mysterious blackout, a son goes out to investigate and captures footage of actual aliens. When the aliens follow him and his brothers back to their home, all hell breaks loose.
No.3 ThanksKilling/ThanksKilling 3
Again, we might be cheating here with two entries, but at least we have a “real” turkey in these films. These are totally campy, but the one-liners are totally worth the pain.
ThanksKilling Synopsis:
A demonic turkey is unleashed…and he’s one fowl-mouthed bastard! Five college kids: a jock, a good girl, an overweight redneck, a slut, and a nerd head home for Thanksgiving break, each thankful for the chance of holiday hookups. But when their car suddenly overheats, they trespass into the woods for a night of drinking and bonfire debauchery. Little do they know, these are the same woods where an ancient turkey was necromanced 386 years ago by an Indian curse after the very first Thanksgiving. Now, The Killer Turkey is awakened and ready for revenge on the first white men he comes in contact with!
ThanksKilling 3 Synopsis:
Fowl-mouthed villain, Turkie, carves through the likes of a rapping grandma, a mindless puppet, a wig-wearing inventor, a bisexual space worm, and their equally ridiculous friends on his quest to recover the last copy of ThanksKilling 2.
No.2 Blood Freak
Although it’s widely accepted that this 1972 film is a cautionary tale about drug use, it’s subtheme of genetically modified food has never been more relevant. We recommend that you watch this with organic/grain-fed zealots or militant vegans.
Blood Freak Synopsis:
A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl’s sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers.
No.1 Home Sweet Home
This is a true slasher movie disguised as a Thanksgiving movie. Considering the film’s release date (1981) and the “escaped mental patient” aspect, it’s not a giant leap to assume that Home Sweet Home was inspired by John Carpenter’s Halloween. The only question that remains, did this movie’s title inspire the Motley Crue song?
Home Sweet Home Synopsis:
An escaped mental patient steals a station wagon and makes his way to the Bradleys’ Thanksgiving celebration, where he plans to make them a little less thankful…
Honorable Mention Thanksgiving (fake trailer)
Ever since appearing as a fake trailer in Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’ homage to ‘70s-era exploitation films, Death Proof/Planet Terror, there’s been talk of making Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving into a full feature. Shit, Roth himself promised a script by this past September, and IMDB has the film listed as being in development. We’ll wait patiently, however, because this looks so fucking rad — that trampoline kill has to be one of the best ever!
Rock Hard \m/
