Fantasia 2013 – “Samurai Cop” Takes The Cake As The Shittiest Film Ever Made

I think Samurai Cop is a winner this year for me as the shittiest film ever made in the history of the American samurai genre, just three days into the Fantasia Film Festival.

I’m still scratching my head trying to figure out whether or not this was intentionally made out to be bad by director Amir Shervan. Just to educate myself, I had to take a quick dive into his collection of films over the years, including the stars of Samurai Cop, on IMDB. By the looks of things, these guys where truly born to make horrible films from the get-go, but since we love bad films, intentional or not, we left our seats with huge smiles our faces — just as the film’s presenter said we would.

Samurai Cop is about two cops, one black dude wearing a gawking look on his face most of the time and who seems helpless in most situations, and a white dude who makes Steven Seagal look like an A-list actor. Oddly, he’s the guy at the end of it all who can wield a Katana, and lets everyone know that they can trust him to save the day, including his hilarious asshole sergeant. Just by his appearance alone, you can easily judge him, right? A true classic American action hero and a ladies man. I think the world is definitely a safer place without him.

From the very first crime scene, the film will constantly bombard you with terrible editing, bad color correction, a horrible car chase, the worst one-liners you can possibly imagine, and tons more. However, all of it will make you laugh uncontrollably at times. Well, that was the case for the guys behind me in the theater. The sex scenes in Samurai Cop are prolonged, but rewarding because the girls are actually pretty hot. Every sex scene that went down the audience just had to applaud. That’s how great it was.

Bad scene after bad scene, you just can’t avoid this film, but stay until the end to see the epic battle between the final boss and Samurai Cop. It goes down just like a fighting game of that era. I guess you can picture Double Dragon without the “double” since black cop is just watching.

The Verdict [rating:5]

As bad as the film may sound, Samurai Cop holds its own in a good kind of way like Manborg did last year. I didn’t know what to expect going in to see this film, but I’m glad I did and was a part of this shit shlock; I have a feeling everyone will be talking about this one again. If Samurai Cop plays again at Fantasia, you may want to gather a group of friends to check this one out before it’s too late to see it on the big screen. I’m giving Samurai Cop five skulls because you just can’t rate this one.