by 
Credit: SuicideGirls.com
Because Mondays suck – Here’s your suicide solution.
Welcome to Suicide Monday on Yell! Magazine. Each week we’re going to bring you a favorite girl or two who were featured on SuicideGirls.com during the previous week.
What constitutes a “favorite” girl? Well, she has to meet a few of our standards: She should be fairly heavily tattooed and/or pierced, into one or more of our topics of interest (heavy metal/hardcore rap, horror/sci-fi/action movies, MMA, and/or specific types of video games), and seemingly interesting as a person (as best as we can judge from the brief bio SuicidGirls sends us), and sexy.
Why SuicideGirls? They say it best: “SuicideGirls is a community that celebrates Alternative Beauty and alternative culture from all over the world.” Hey, we’re into that subculture thing too.
The Girls
While this week’s SuicideGirls didn’t provide a whole lot of information on themselves, aside from the important fact that they like sex a whole bunch, the pictures don’t lie. This weeks girls and a healthy dose of knowledge from doing Suicide Monday for a while tells us that the Midwest has it going on. We’re also convinced that South Africa is home to some of the world’s most beautiful women.
Being from Wisconsin, I’m a bit biased when I say that Midwestern women are hot, but Damsel Suicide is a strong case for the argument. Next time any of us pass by the fly-over states, we suggest a layover in Ohio and a stalking adventure to find the lovely Damsel Suicide. Hopefully this advice doesn’t distress her, and if it does, we’re happy to provide our strong arms to help save her.
Now we’re onto Kisska Suicide and our new obsession with South African women. The combination of Tarion Suicide and Kisska Suicide might very well lead to a very unhealthy fascination/obsession with the country, or at least its women. Kisska kind of has a Stephanie Seymour vibe about her, only without the lame rock star ex-boyfriend.
Don’t forget to click on the images for a larger version.
Damsel Suicide
Age: 23
Location: Ohio, USA
Occupation: Petite little rapper with a super dope flow. Bad ass booty shaker. Professional pin-up seductress.
Current crush: Wentworth Miller and Mary-Louise Parker.
Stats: Short and petite with curves that won’t quit… need i say more?
Body mods: Sexy tattoos and sassy piercings…
Heroes: Marilyn Monroe and Chelsea Handler
Gets me hot: Bite me, spank me, pull my hair…
Favorite position: Doggy style
Fantasy: To fall in love and make music forever…
Sign: Pisces
Most humbling moment: Being put in immigration prison and deported from Scotland…
I lost my virginity: To someone I really loved…
CIGARETTES: “I’m giving up”
MY DIET: Omnivore
ALCOHOL: Occasionally
MY DRUG USE: Up the nose
MY KINK FACTOR: Talk dirty to me…
MY POLITICS: Bleeding-heart Liberal
POT: I’m a total stoner
MY STATUS: Single
MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME: Support local music. Go to a show.
MY PIGEONHOLES: Hip-Hop, Crafty, Arty, Tattooed, Designwank, Burner, Retro, Piercing, Hippy, Hipster, Fetish
Into: Musicians, artists, dirty talk, good baby makin’ music, post-sex cuddling, 5:00 shadows, chicks with dreads, reading tarot cards, guys with strong arms, nipple rings…
Not into: Butch chicks, spiky hair, cut off T-shirts, jocks, high-maintenance Barbie-doll bitches, preppy boys, dudes who chew tobacco…
Makes me happy: Feeling appreciated
Makes me sad: Abandonment
Hobbies: Smoking weed, arts and crafts, puppy snuggles, titty text club
5 things I can’t live without: Penelope, my cell phone, sweatpants, marijuana, my camera
Vices: Hostess Cupcakes and dirty porn
Thoughts on SG: I love it
I spend most of my free time: WITH PENELOPE and perving on hot naked bitches
Up next, pucker up ’cause Kisska Suicide is coming your way…
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