The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) Review: Because Somebody, Somewhere Asked For It

Yell! Magazine’s review of The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Human Centipede 2 is not a movie that fits into the conventional sense of “films as a commodity.” It does not exist in the same realm as say, Captain America or more recently, Paranormal Activity.

You simply cannot compare it to these films because the intention is way off the rails as far as what we’re used to. If I were to assign this film 1 star, it would not be doing it justice. Hell, if I assigned it any stars at all, and you happen to unconsciously group it together with a film that earned the same score, you’d still probably be missing the mark.

For these reasons, I have chosen to go the traditional critiquing route and not assign it anything – which, by the way, is not the same as giving it zero. If you want to know whether or not this film appeals to you (you sick, sick, man, you.) then please, read on.

You see, summing up films as an aggregate doesn’t exactly make much sense. Film is an art, and art can only be contemplated subjectively. To be fair, the best we can do as critics is find a target audience –great or small – and recommend the film to them. Each film is unique in tone and style, and so awarding a film “so many stars out of 5” would be an exercise in selling the film short.

For instance, take a film like Real Steel and compare it to Final Destination 5. Both “3 star movies,” but both are so damn different in terms of presentation, style and intent that you can see the sheer absurdity in comparing them based on their respective “grades.” We’re humans, not friggin’ robots. We’re not meant to pigeonhole artistic endeavors into tiers for the sake of convenience.

But, some people don’t like to read, and they’d rather you spare them the trouble of thinking for themselves, so we still use the system anyway. Plenty of people would rather categorize than contemplate, and the aggregate system resonates a familiar chord with memories of any good or bad grades we’ve received in school. We lump 5-star movies together with 5-star movies, and then shove them on a pedestal because, simply put, “they’re the best.”

So how do you “grade” a film with a premise that’s so intentionally stupid, it makes you doubt this whole “evolution” thing?

You don’t. You sit down, stroke your chin and exchange opinions. Something I implore you to do in the comment section below.

"In Human Centipede, the centipede consisted of three people. In Human Centipede 2, we went with 12. In the third installment, we're gonna go with 48, inject them with steroids, and have them rampage around town."

Find out if The Human Centipede 2 is the right horror film for you after the jump…