by Beloved Slobs, welcome to Yell! Magazine’s new channel, the Cult of Life. What will you find here? A lot of shit, actually, not literally mind you.
Whatever we do in this channel, we can assure you that it’s neither to make you a better person nor to make you a worse one. We like our Yellers just the way you are and would never ask you to bend your values, likes, interests, principles, or ways in order to conform to some falsely perceived convention that you have to be a certain way to achieve some arbitrary form of acceptance. Wearing hip-waders, goulashes, a Canada Goose coat, and some bushwhacker winter hat not because you like it or it’s “you,” but because you think it ups your hipster cred in the eyes of all those other ironic idiots is just foolish, plus you look like a dick.
The shit that you’ll see here is shit that we like or think is cool and deserves to be Yelled about. You don’t have to like it, but at least you’ll know about it.
So, in the Cult of Life you might find art. It might be something from the Renaissance period or something from yesterday. It might be something you’d find in the Louvre Museum or something you’d find on an album cover.
This is also where you’ll find our weekly Suicide Monday feature. This inevitably means that you will also find features on tattoos, tattoo parlors, body mods, and more in that vein… but no needles, at least not ones that inject anything else but ink.
We’ll also bring you tons of information and suggestions on T-shirts. What kind of tees? Well we’ll point you in the direction of classic rock/metal shirts, horror-themed shirts, MMA-type shirts, tattoo art shirts, etc.
While we’re on the topic of threads, we’ll also point you to clothing that lets you dress metal without dressing like a cliche. And then, we’ll also direct you to fitness gear.
What? Fitness?
That’s right, we’re even going to bring you tips on how to get and stay in shape — Danzig style or Georges St-Pierre. This means that we’re going to bring you training tips from the MMA and then other tips that’ll help you be your warrior self at an outdoor festival or in a pit.
Then, what heavy metal warrior doesn’t like to cool off with a cold beer? Yeah, so we’ll taste some international, domestic, micro-brew buds for you and tell you what’s good and what sucks. We may even risk our lives and try some of those celebrity wines, such as Ed Hardy or Vince Neil’s or KISS’. Of course we’ll chase everything down with some Jagermeister.
In a nutshell, that’s the Cult of Life. We sincerely hope you choke and die… er, enjoy. And if you ever have any suggestions or feedback, feel free to leave a comment.
Rock Hard!
Yell! Magazine's Cult of Life Channel
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