Lollipop Chainsaw Review: “As Fate Would Have It…”

BUT – BUUUUT – I enjoyed the hell out of Lollipop Chainsaw, and I’d bet my collection of gimp masks that there are plenty of you Yellers who would too. Suda’s a guy who lays his substance within his style, and he’s 100% self-aware of this. He doesn’t want to make convention-defying ballbusters – he already did that a couple of times. His goal here seems simply to pitch a freakishly weird idea, and just kind of roll with it: Deliver a game that is entirely characteristic of what he does, and please the fans who have been waiting for something to happen since Shadows of the Damned.

And on that note, he delivers – he coughs up his best, and it works like a charm. Suda has a thing for almost casually sociopathic protagonists, and he manages to work in one here who’s charmingly endearing and bad-ass all the way through. Juliet spends a majority of the game complaining about how “irritating” these hordes of zombies are, but takes it entirely in stride, and has some good back-and-forth with her severed head of a boyfriend.

Yes, “irritating” indeed.

In fact, to say that Lollipop Chainsaw‘s crowning achievement is its dialogue isn’t too much of a stretch. As mentioned earlier, it’s a love it or hate it thing. When facing off against the first boss (a foul-mouthed, punk rock, mohawk-sporting zombie), there comes a point when you have to saw his head and torso in half, vertically. What would normally be a short scene of his death is interrupted by him quickly forcing both halves of his body back together, turning to the audience and shouting, “You think that hurts me!? I just jizzed a little!”

Can’t make this stuff up, folks. The whole damn game is pretty much that, from start to finish. Every major character has a kind of impeccable style and likeability, whether it’s a skyscraper-size Elvis impersonator or a diaper-wearing witchdoctor whose voice is done through Auto-Tune.

He’s called “Josey.”

The soundtrack itself holds the same tone of being a mixed-bag. It bounces back and forth between rock-folk Celtic ballads to symphonic electronica to techno funk. It holds up just as well as its dialogue, and manages to motivate you through its lackluster gameplay experience.

Still, the game is a metric boatload of fun. It’s a rainbow colored, candy coated mind-rape, and there’s a certain demographic of sick, depraved people who are predisposed to this sort of thing – myself included.

The Verdict: [rating:3]

With a mediocre story-mode lasting about 8 hours, and a replay value that doesn’t make it past “Your reward is new clothes,” this game can’t really be recommended as anything more than a rental. With that out of the way, it’s definitely a very, very strong recommendation as a rental, and is an excellent way to freak out your grandpa. If you’re a fan of the strange, the surreal, and the borderline insane, then fight your way to your local rental place, and get your filthy mitts on this thing. Choke out somebody if you have to. Your secret’s safe with me, man.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCuRUKkNekw