You’re Next (2011) – We Watched It So You Don’t Have To

Before I start the review for this pile of (insert your favorite expletive here), I just want to say that if you’ve ever seen a horror movie in your life, you’ll be able to call every move, every kill, every action that happens in You’re Next. So with that said, I’ll get on with the review.

You’re Next starts with a married couple bumping uglies, naturally. What horror movie is complete without a sex scene, right? Well, obviously the couple is murdered in some grotesque manner because that’s just what happens when you have illicit sex in a serial killer-type horror film. While it would be terrifying to witness the “You’re Next” epitaph, it’s just plain silly at this early stage in a horror movie. From this scene, which is supposed to set the tone, we move onto the main plot, which involves the family that’s conveniently just down the street from the murder in the opening sequence.

The family has gotten together to celebrate the wedding anniversary of their parents. So, there are sons, daughters, and their respective significant others. All is well until an argument erupts at dinner between two of the brothers. Then out of nowhere one of the brothers gets shot in the head with a crossbow dart. Shit just hit the fan…

Slowly, each member of the family is killed off by these rabbit mask-wearing hunters and for some odd reason, one of the girlfriends happens to be a survival specialist. I know! How damn convenient is that, right? Well she starts fighting back, setting traps, and of course kills a couple of them masked freaks. Ultimately you learn that one of the brothers is behind the whole scheme and is after the parent’s inheritance. Fucking greedy bastards.

What can we take away from this film? Don’t have children? Women can be strong? Don’t leave your wife for a co-ed? Don’t be greedy? I guess it’s probably up to you.

Well, the film doesn’t end well and it’s definitely left open for a sequel, and I’m dreading the idea of watching it.

The Verdict

If you're into watching total garbage, then by all means, go ahead and watch You're Next. We each have our own opinion anyways. I just warn you that you probably will be disappointed, and it's a shame because we like Adam Wingard directorial work on V/H/S, V/H/S/2, and The ABCs of Death.