Machete Kills (2013) Died At The Box Office (Review)

If you remember Machete (2010) and how brutal, gory, and comedic it was, you might be disappointed to know that Machete Kills wasn’t like the first one. There were a few letdowns.

It’s a shame that there were letdowns considering the film had a budget roughly twice the original’s and the cast attached: obviously, Danny Trejo tops the cast, along with the lovely Michelle Rodriguez, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Lady Gaga, the hot Amber Heard, Antonio Banderas, and the so sexy Sofía Vergara. You’d think that with a cast like this Machete Kills would have been a box office smash. Well, I’m here to tell you that it wasn’t, failing to gross much more than its budget.

At 69 years old, Danny Trejo is still a high-action movie star. He seems to be coming out with movies every month. Whether it be in the theater or straight to Netflix/DVD, he’s still quite impressive at his age.

As mentioned, I found that the film had a few disappointments, such as the filmmakers apparently trying too hard to be serious. The first film had a lot of comedic, somewhat stupid scenes, but done with a wink to the audience. However, Machete Kills was like a completely different beast.

On the other hand, there were a few surprises, like Lady Gaga, as weird as she can be on stage, being half way decent in this movie. She played an assassin hired to kill Machete (Trejo). Charlie Sheen plays the president of the United States and hires Machete to rid the threat of Voz, played by Mel Gibson. Who would’ve thought that Mel Gibson would be playing the a villain?

Voz has created an arsenal of space-age weaponry and is planning to move to space while he watches all of Washington D.C. blow up and cease to exist. How he plans this, I will not tell you; you’ll just have to watch the movie. But I will tell you this much, the movie was left open for a sequel, which will be properly titled Machete Kills Again… In Space!. Yea, I’m serious. If you’ll remember the Grindhouse films, you’ll remember the two-movie set that Tarantino and Rodriguez put together with fake trailers and all. Well this movie opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again… In Space!, which will ultimately be turned into a film.

The Verdict:

So, with with a third installment on the way, and if you're a fan of the first Machete film, you can watch Machete Kills if you wish. Personally, I wasn't impressed.