Everything I Know About Sex, I Learned From KISS

No.3 “Shock Me”

Cumming Together Is Electric


There are a few ways you can interpret this song. It could be about barebacking it. It could be about S&M. It could be about playing guitar. But I like the idea that it’s about a couple that’s experimenting with different sexual practices to spice up their love life. OK, maybe it’s about the man in the relationship trying to persuade his girlfriend to break out of a sexual rut with some experimentation, and his last-ditch argument is that they could “cum together.” For women, cumming together certainly ranks high on the passion scale. But for Ace, we know it’s about getting off.

Shock me, make me feel better, oh yeah
Come on and shock me, put on your black leather
Baby, I’m down to the bare wire
Shock me, we can come together
Oh yeah, I wanna feel your power
Shock me, make me feel better
Baby, I’m down to the bare wire
Shock me, put on your black leather
Baby, come on, come on, shock me

No.2 “Take It Off”

You have to Be Bold and Take Charge of the Situation


Women love confident men, and few things can show a woman how confident a man is than his ability to take charge. Yeah, yeah, the playing field is more or less equal now and the whole women’s lib thing has been great, but on some primitive level that’s been developed through eons of evolution women still desire to be taken care of. You know, men hunt, men protect, while women tend to crops, raise children, and let men think they’re making the decisions.

So, your confidence helped you persuade a stripper to come home with you. What now? Let her take charge? I don’t think so, even if she’d be dynamite if she did. After hours of having men begging her to show more, even offering their first born’s head for a peek, she’s ready to be dominated a little. You know; less thinking, more do. Even if you’ve already seen the goods, you might want to remember the mantra below:

Take it off, pretty baby
Take it off, drive me crazy
You know you make me so hot,
I wanna see what you got, pretty baby
Take it off, give it to me
Like you’d do me
Girl, you got nothin’ to hide, now lemme see what’s inside
Take it off! Take it, take it, take it off! Yeah!

No.1 “Nothin’ To Lose”

If You Want her Anally, You Got to Be Persistent


It might not seem like such a big deal today, what with all the ATM, rimming, and advice on the matter going on, but back in 1974, anything to do with anal was considerably taboo.

Whether or not the members of KISS were able to get what they wanted sexually upon the release of their debut album will remain unanswered, but the lyrics of “Nothin’ To Lose” certainly shows what persistence can get you. Back in ‘74, you had to be persistent if you wanted anal, as most women were steadfastly opposed to the act. Most women probably still are, but there’s a growing demographic who’ll at least try it. As such you’ll need skills in asking for it. “Nothin’ To Lose” is your template:

But once I got a baby
I, I tried every way
She didn’t wanna do it
But she did anyway

But baby please don’t refuse
You know you got nothin’ to lose

So now I’ve got a baby
And we’ve tried every way
You know she wants to do it
And she does anyway

Rock Hard \m/

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